I have found myself navigating the River of Grief. Again.
Just FEEL it, I hear. Just let it rip through you and take you apart. My blank stare says it all.
Begin with allowing. Allowing yourself to come into contact with the most painful of emotions, the emotion of loss.
How do we undo this sorrow without loosing ourselves, without drowning in our own pain?
I know I have been here before. Too many times and thus my resistance. However, the image that comes to mind is myself being washed away in the flood of dirty water. I see her floating away, waving her arm as she recedes from my sight. But is it really me? anymore? I am no longer the young girl who was torn in half by grief so long ago. I am, however, still in this body that, on a cellular level re-experiences this tearing through each subsequent loss.
When I visualized the energy of grief, it appeared as a cord that had been pushed down on itself leaving gaps between the strands and creating an almond shape, a bulge in the natural flow of energy. Each strand is wiry and out of sorts, tangled but only within itself. Each strand is still a separate cord, a specific tone in my heart.
Time to imagine that I can run my fingers over each strand, smoothing and soothing the energy, straightening it out so that each strand lays cleanly against the other. This is my image. Reminds me of using a de-tangler or conditioner on my hair.
On the left is the budge of grief energy trapped in the cords of the heart. As we move across the image to the right, each strand is smoothed, calmed and realigned. By the time we are to the right margin, the energy is cool and smooth with plenty of space around each strand allowing each cord to sound a clear tone when struck. These cords are in all of us. It is when we have them plucked by recurring life experiences that we realize pain and suffering have changed the literal tone of our heart.
Everything is a frequency. By doing this little mental healing, I am able to sooth my response to grief, and although it is long standing and reignited of late, I am able to bring myself back into harmony with myself by allowing all that is over the dam to stay there and by giving myself permission to be a self healer, a transmuter of grief.
I hope this idea and image are of help to you. Grief is a universal emotion and one that can be tamed through self love and acceptance of what is.
In my moment of feeling so very human, I find myself smiling at my personal power and ability to restring my heart, re-tuning it to the frequency of love in-spite of all that has been released, all that is out of my control.
Today is September 30, 2016. The Black New Moon in all it’s glory.